watching tv

it comes time to change the episode
and then it hits you
not laziness, not lack of interest
just nothing

overwhelming nothing

the tv goes blank

the lights flicker

your phone buzzes
you reply without thinking
a few minutes pass and you’re not even sure if you replied or even got a message

the lights flicker again

dogs bark outside
reminds you of the world outside this room

what were you doing before this happened?
you can’t quite remember

the temperature dropped in the 40 minutes you haven’t moved
it seems so logical to get the jumper right next to you

it seems so logical

you want to cry
you know you have reasons to
but you can’t remember them
you feel like it might help

shaking from the cold

mind still blank
you look around the room for things to think about

but they’re just things

last time this happened you told yourself to write down what was going on
but nothing’s going on
and you don’t remember why

emptiness
absence

nothing.